It has it’s own particular smells and sounds that I look forward to each year – the acrid, but not unpleasant smell of decomposing vegetation and the crunch, crunch, crunch of leaves as I walk through the woods.  And the colors!!  Have I mentioned the colors? 

In my opinion, the Fall palette is a true feast for the eyes – orange, yellow, red, russet, burgundy and brown.  Brilliant and shocking…earthy and restful! But more than these, what I savor most is the gentler pace of life that embodies these months of September through early November.

After the sunshine and heat and the hectic pace of summer activities, Fall is a time for slowing down – a winding down of the activity clock – and a time to prepare the heart and home for the long, dark winter that follows closely on the heels of Autumn. There’s always a bit of panic inside of me, knowing that months of extreme cold and darkness are just around the corner. But before they arrive, God opens up His storehouses and gives us all an amazing gift – ABUNDANCE!

Everywhere I look, I see the generous hand of our Creator…

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Bushes and brambles laden with ripe berries;

Fields of corn ready to be harvested;

Apples trees littering the ground with ripe fruit;

Deciduous leaves -yellow, orange and red – putting on a display of color that fills our senses with awe and wonder;

The recent harvest of brightly-hued squash and and pumpkins piled high at the local Farmer’s Market;

October sunsets – rivaling the turning leaves with their own ethereal display!

For four to six weeks each Fall, His flora is displayed in all of it’s glory and then like clockwork, a subtle change begins to happen.  The temperatures begin to fall; the angle of the sun declines;  the days grow shorter and all of Nature inhales one last, deep breath.

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In a last flurry of activity, I cut down the frost-blackened flower stems in my perennial garden and cover them with protective layer of leaves. 

I fill the bird feeders and watch as the residents from the northern boreal forests make their annual pilgrimage down South. I pull out my wool socks and sweaters and I make thick, hearty soups and bake chewy-crusted breads filled with grains and seeds. 

And I bake pies…lots and lots of pies!

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When the leaves have all fallen and the grain harvest is in, I find myself trudging through the frosty fields of corn stubble – my Springer spaniel leaping and racing before me in search of pheasants; a small 20-gauge shotgun resting in the crook of my arm.

When the gales of November start blowing (and they really do!) I curl up on my couch and I read book after book, sipping on hot, spiced tea to counter the chill that threatens to creep into my house and aging bones! And before I know it, the past summer and all of it’s activity becomes just a fading memory.

The weeks pass, the white flakes begin to fall in earnest and all of Nature exhales one last time. It’s time for the yearly rest that God has ordained, so the earth lays down it’s thick blanket of downy snow, then gently slips into the long and silent, white sleep of winter.

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“While the earth remains, seedtime and harvest, cold and heat, summer and winter, and day and night shall not cease”.

Genesis 8:22

It’s been awhile since I’ve posted on This Life of Wander.

We hit a bump in the road…a very big bump that turned our marriage upside down and threatened to put asunder what God had joined together.  There are times when life gives you more than you can handle and there is no energy left over for words…when making it through each day is all you can seem to accomplish and the answer to your problem is nowhere to be found.  Such has been my reality these past few months.

It’s part of the human condition…trials and tribulations…but they still come as a surprise to me and unfortunately, always seem to send me into a downward spiral of hopelessness and despair.

However, in the midst of the turmoil, we were able to travel to the Pacific Northwest where we spent a very quiet, restful and restorative week in this little stone cottage by the sea.  What a joy it was to wake up each morning to this beautiful view…

And to glimpse these snow-capped peaks on the way to the store!

And during that time away, I felt God speaking to my heart, encouraging me to trust Him and the perfect plan He has for each of our lives.  That I can do.

We came home feeling calm and hopeful.  The worst of the storm seems to be behind us and I’m learning, anew, to put my trust in the Lord.  Today is a new day and His mercies are new every morning!

I think I’m ready to face whatever trials life has to offer.

For those of you who are also entering this interesting “change” of life…I think you’ll appreciate the humor in the following postcard that I received from her last week.

Thank you Lord, for my younger sister and her God-given gift of wit and humor!!!  I don’t know what I’d do without her!

Five signs the “Change” has begun…

1. Low estrogen produces excess facial hair.

2. Living alone in a cabin sounds pretty damn appealing!

3. Who needs a wood stove with all these handy hot flashes?

4. No, it isn’t hunting season. You got a problem with that?

5. I’m low on estrogen and I have a gun.

~Anonymous

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With everyone in our household involved in education at some level, our life takes on a faster pace as May comes to a close.  The school year is coming to an end and that means final exams, completion of student teaching, college graduation, class trips, posting of grades, etc.  I look forward to June’s arrival -  a slower pace of life and kids at home for the summer.

However, as the kids are getting older, they spend more and more time away from home, and gathering everyone together – even for a short time -  is a bit of a challenge.

Fortunately, my middle daughter, Olivia, recently had the opportunity to fly home for a late, but much needed Spring break.  It was wonderful to have her home again, but in the blink of an eye we were back in our car and headed south to the airport in the Twin Cities.  Before dropping her off at her sister’s apartment, we all had a few precious hours to “hang out” with one another, share a meal together and hug our girls tight before saying goodbye once again.

It’s so much fun to watch the interaction between my three kids.  They enjoy their togetherness and one of them is always joking around or laughing hysterically at the witty comments made by themselves the others.  And as the evening progressed, the jokes became more numerous and their laughter got louder.  There’s nothing like a good dose of humor to lighten the burdens we all carry.  But their silliness is sometimes hard to corral and getting them together (and standing still) for a sibling photo was a feat that did not go well.

Below is the attempt I made to take a photo of my three willfull wonderful children, just moments before heading back north to our little yellow cottage in the Northwoods.

Mom: “Okay kids, some attention here!”

Isaac:  “Sir!  Yes sir!”

“Good attention, but how about keeping your eyes open?”

“NO! Don’t cover her eyes you doof!”

“Oh yes…you all are sooooooooo funny!”

Isaac nodding head up and down – “Yes…we are!”Isaac…still nodding head up and down.

Isaac being a dorky 14 year old boy.

Uhhhh! This is impossible!

Finally….a passable photo!   I love you all…you sweet chickabees!

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I guess I shouldn’t be surprised by their playful and silly antics…it’s been going on for as long as I can remember!

Yes it’s true. I went AWOL.

Absent without leave?

No…absent without lucidity.

Here are some  synonyms for the word absent: astray, away, elsewhere, ghost, gone, hooky, missing, no-show, nobody home, removed, vanished.

Yes…I was all of these too!

As I’m typing this post, I’ve got a smile on my face and am attempting to make light of the situation, but in reality, it’s taken almost two weeks for me to feel anything other than out of whack.  You see, I’ve been struggling for six months with a severe hormonal imbalance that has disrupted my normally calm demeanor.

After months of ultrasounds, blood tests and experimental hormone therapy, my family doctor has finally given me a diagnosis.  PMDD – Premenstrual Dysphoric Disorder.  I won’t go into too much detail, but if you can imagine the worst PMS you’ve ever had and intensify it ten fold – then throw in some abject hopelessness and suicidal thoughts for good measure – you know what I’m talking about.

Unfortunately, my body decided to go haywire over the Easter holiday… just in time for my two daughters to arrive home from college.  With PMDD, a person lives life without filters and during this time of craziness, I said and did things that shocked even me.  I’m sure that in the days and weeks to come, there will be more apologies to make to the people I love most.

If  life had a Delete button, then I’d highlight the last 10 days of April and remove them from existence forever.  But wait a minute… I know Someone who has already done that for me.   Hebrews 10: 16-17 (New King James Version)

“This is the covenant I will make with them
after that time, says the Lord.
I will put my laws in their hearts,
and I will write them on their minds.”   Then he adds:

“For I will forgive their wickedness and will remember their sins no more.”

Can you imagine what life would be like without Jesus and His willingness to forgive and forget our sins?  I can’t.  I truly don’t know what I would do without Him and His great, great love for me.

When I was burdened and heavy laden, I was reminded to “put on a garment of praise for the spirit of heaviness.”  I sang and I cried, but was able to resist the horrible thoughts that assaulted my mind.  And when I could no longer see reason, He sent me a loyal friend who spoke words of truth and who helped to carry my load of sadness and pain. Without her love and patience, I don’t know what I would have done.  If you are reading this post, let me say this….you truly are a beautiful Jewel who has lived the words of Proverbs 17:17 – A friend loves at all times.

Thank you dear friend!

In memory of the Savior’s love,
    We keep the sacred feast,
    Where every humble, contrite heart
    Is made a welcome guest.
    By faith we take the Bread of Life
    With which our souls are fed,
    The Cup in token of His blood
    That was for sinners shed.
    In faith and memory thus we sing
    The wonders of His love,
    And thus anticipate by faith
    The heavenly feast above.

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Blessings to all of you this Easter season as we once more ponder the wonder of the Cross…the greatest act of love and mercy the world has ever known.

“Can any of you add a single hour to your life by worrying?  

And why worry about what you wear?  Notice how the flowers grow in the field.  They never work or spin yarn for clothes. 

But I say that not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these.”

Matthew 6:27-29

I really should be cleaning my house today but for some reason I just can’t seem to muster enough umph to get started.  I’m beginning to think that my age has something to do with it. Yes, that’s it!  I’ll blame it on my age!

Early on in my married life, I used to love putting my house in order on a daily basis even with three little children underfoot and the demands of a home-based business pulling at me. I found a secret delight in dusting, vacuuming, scrubbing, cooking gourmet meals and lovingly serving them to my family on heirloom china.  Every afternoon, at exactly 3pm, I’d put out coffee and home-baked goodies for whoever happened to be passing by.  Now, it doesn’t even bother me if the dust bunnies under the bed, grow to look more like sizable rodents that could devour a small child, or if the meals I make lack any creative flair and are served on paper plates.  Hmm…I wondered what has happened to me?

Before you begin to think that I’m feeling sorry for myself, I’d like to point out that I’m sure this feeling of work apathy has plagued women for hundreds of years.  And I’ve got a name for it..it’s called drudgery – distasteful, dull, hard or menial work. Who wouldn’t agree that housework falls into this category? Much of life is like this, but I’m learning that in God’s kingdom, even drudgery has it’s place.  According to Oswald Chambers,

“We do not need the grace of God to withstand crises – human nature and pride are sufficient for us to face the stress and strain magnificently. But it does require the supernatural grace of God to live twenty-four hours of every day as a saint, going through drudgery, and living an ordinary, unnoticed, and ignored existence as a disciple of Jesus. It is ingrained in us the we have to do exceptional things for God – but we do not. We have to BE exceptional in the ordinary things of life, and holy on the ordinary streets, among ordinary people…and this is not learned in five minutes.”

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Lord, I ask for your grace and mercy today. Help me to choose a humble and proper servile attitude, even when life around me seems mundane and monotonous. Let the work of my hands and the meditations of my heart glorify You today. Amen.

In overwhelming gratitude….

56 .  As I think about the heavens and about what Your fingers have created;
how You made the moon and stars and  have set them  in their place.

I don’t even know who Horace Greeley was, and I don’t remember anything much from Mrs. Nygard’s 6th-grade social studies class regarding westward expansion, other than the saying, “Go West, young man”.  But even this I got wrong.

According to a reliable source, the real quote is, “Go West, young man, and grow up with the country,” from Hints toward Reforms (1850) by Horace Greeley. There. You learned something new today. So did I!

Actually, I’ve been sorting through dozens of folders from an old Mac computer and finding hundreds of photos that had been downloaded, tucked into folders and sadly, forgotten.

I’m having a wonderful time digging them out and transferring them to my desktop computer; reminiscing about yesteryear and completely awestruck by the natural beauty of the West.  Some of the photos are just too beautiful to view alone, so I’ll be sharing them with you here. Photos like this:

And this…

In an earlier post, I spoke of our van’s propensity to always travel West. Well, these photos are living proof that we’ve been there many times and have fallen completely in love with the mountains and streams of western Montana.

One day soon, my husband and I are going to celebrate his retirement by pulling our little pop-up camper to the edge of the Madison river and set up camp for a month or so.  And the only noises we’ll hear, will be the gurgling of the mountain streams, the hoot of the great horned owl and howling of coyotes each evening.  Oh yeah…and the chattering of our teeth as we wake up in our unheated camper each frosty  September morning!

After 35 years of teaching, my husband will consider it pure bliss! I will too, as long as the grizzly bears keep their distance…miles and miles away from us!

This travelogue is a compilation of several trips we’ve taken in the past 8 years, so don’t be surprised when you see how our kids (and big D. & I) have aged!  Sit back and enjoy…

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Our trips out to Montana always start the same.  The plan is to be packed the night before;  exiting our home at the crack of dawn. In truth,  we’re lucky if we’re on the road by mid-morning!

As we’re driving through Floodwood, Walker and then Detroit Lakes – it doesn’t yet feel like we’re on another road trip. But once we’ve reached the North Dakota border, everything changes.  The pine and hardwood forests disappear, the plains open up before us and the world becomes this huge open expanse where we can see for miles and miles in all directions. It’s quite an awesome sight!

Like death and taxes, our first stop in North Dakota is always at the Wal-mart in Jamestown, where we pick up our supplies for the road – sketch pads, colored pencils, bottled water, Kraft “squirt” cheese and crackers!  I’m not kidding!  No vacation is complete without these road-trip survival items…especially the Easy Cheese!

When we were young and foolish, we’d drive like fiends and try to make it to Miles City, MT on the first day.  Now that we’re older and wiser, we stop in Mandan and camp at Fort Abraham Lincoln State Park.

Located right on the banks of the Missouri River, the park has dedicated itself to the reconstruction, development and interpretation of the historical sites of old Fort Abraham Lincoln and the On-a-Slant Indian Village. There’s lots of history here and it’s a great educational experience for the kids. Who ever said that learning can’t be fun too?

In the summer months, there are also historical reenactments for the history buff and horseback riding for the adventurous.

The girls and I took the horseback riding trip one hot summer day. We plodded slowly along  a well-worn path and about 40 minutes later, had reached the top of the butte and the site of the original fort.  The views of the surrounding countryside were spectacular!

For those of you who thought that North Dakota was a boring state…I hope I’ve correct your erroneous thinking!  The beauty of the West starts before you’ve even reached the Montana border!

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After Mandan , our next stop is the wayside rest near Medora, in western North Dakota.  It doesn’t matter how many times we’ve pulled into this rest area and seen the same sights…the natural beauty of the area still takes my breath away!

The views of the painted canyons are breathtaking!

One of us always poses for a picture at the scenic overview;

and the picnic tables are a perfect place for us to take a break and grab a bite to eat!

One year, as we were returning home from our annual Montana pilgrimage, we were fortunate enough to see these here for the first time ever.

Truthfully, they were a bit too close for my liking AND they disobeyed the traffic signs!

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After we’ve refreshed ourselves and walked the dog, we’re back in our vehicle and headed towards the Montana border.

Upon crossing the border, we’re about to embark on the most difficult part of our journey – the drive through eastern Montana.  For the next 5 hours, we’ll be following the path of the Yellowstone River which we can see from the interstate, as it meanders for hundreds of miles.

Scrub and semi-arid to desert conditions cover large areas of eastern Montana. It’s pretty desolate here and all you’ll be seeing is sage, rabbitbrush, shrubby cinquefoil, snakeweed and prickly pear cactus. We’ve now entered rattlesnake county and are especially diligent to watch for them when we stop along the way.

Since all of our travels involve our children, I try and make sure to have something for them to do while in the car. If  I forget to bring something to keep them occupied, they will eventually stare at me like this,  thinking “Why does my mother keep sticking that camera in my face?”

But I don’t despair…our first glimpse of the mountains is only 334 miles away!  By the time we’ve reached Big Timber, the snow-capped Rockies are looming straight ahead.

Another hour on the road and we’ve arrived in Bozeman.  This is a fun and somewhat cosmopolitan city and there’s a lot to see and do. Often times we’ll take a walk down Main Street and window-shop or stop for lunch at a local eating establishment.  Our favorite is Burger Bob’s with their perfectly cooked burgers and waffle fries.  Mmmmm!

Occasionally, we’ll make a full day of it, heading on over to the Montana State University campus and the Museum of the Rockies.

There’s  something for everyone here – Dinosaurs under the Big Sky;  the Taylor Planetarium; a living history farm; the Northern Rocky Mountain History exhibit and several traveling exhibits.  There’s also incredible photo archives of the native Americans and pioneers that settled the West.  We loved it!

After leaving Bozeman, our route now takes us in a southward curve, towards Yellowstone National Park.

There’s a couple of highways that’ll take us there…we prefer Highway 287 through Four Corners and Ennis.  The roads here are wide open and the views are spectacular.  We’ve also gone due south out of Bozeman, on highway 191 towards Big Sky. The drive is lovely, but most of the road winds through tight canyons and the two lanes are very narrow and have no shoulders…not my cup of tea!

Whichever way we decide to go, we almost always end up at the West Fork Cabin Camp, located on highway 287 North, about 35 miles south of Ennis, MT.  We know we’ve reached the right place when we find this bridge to cross…

For those of you reading this blog…if majestic mountains; clear blue sky; sparkling , pure rocky mountain rivers; and (oh yes) large, beautiful trout excite you, then the West Fork Cabin Camp on the Madison River is the place for you!

We found this campground by accident and it really is a hidden gem! The camp offers 20 tent sites, 24 RV sites and 11 cabins.  Within 30 minutes of your cabin you can fish 13 of Montana’s finest streams and 13 lakes. We’ve stayed here on a couple of separate occasions, and as you view the following pictures, I’m sure you’ll see why this is such a great place to visit.

A cold, misty morning on the Madison river. On this particular day, we woke up to 30 degree temps and frost in the camper…in August. Come prepared!

The kids are fly-fishing for the first time and seriously ready to catch some trout!

Yes…ones that look like this!

Making sure the boots don’t fall down!

He’ll figure this out yet…

The smallest catch I’ve ever seen! “Mom…is it a keeper?”

Livvy…first time out and looking good! My advice: bring boots…the water is freezing!

Caught in the middle of a caddis fly hatch!

Second trip to the river and working the riffles…

A tired fisherwoman taking a rest.

Joining the group….our own Montana Mary!

She’s got the knack…this one IS a keeper!

Great day on the river!

Sunset over the Madison

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If it’s too windy for fishing, we’ll often take a ride over to West Yellowstone for an ice cream treat or take a ride through the Park.  It’s a quick 37 miles jaunt.  On our way there, we pass the famous Quake Lake. There’s a sad story here but if you want to learn more about the origin of this unusual lake, you’ll have to stop at the Visitor Center and discover it for yourself!

Upon entering the Park, we usually find an out of the way road to drive and if we’re lucky, we may even see some wildlife…

This elk was so close to the truck that I almost hit it!

I don’t know where this coyote was heading, but he wasn’t disturbed by our presence.

New tree growth after the last fire…

We take these warning signs very seriously!  Our life or health may depend on it! If we’re lucky enough to see some buffalo, we always view them from the relative safety of our car.

Take a look at the size of these creatures…

After we’ve seen enough wildlife and have tired of fighting the summer traffic jams in the Park, we’ll head back to West Yellowstone and join the hoards of folks that are buying their fill of official Yellowstone souvenirs…all made in China.  Not our family…we prefer the green foam buffalo horns that are made in Taiwan!

All joking aside…it really is a fun if not kitschy town with an old-fashioned candy store on every block, hundreds of overpriced hotel rooms, and enough Yellowstone  National Park t-shirts to clothe all the folks West of the Mississippi!

If this travelogue has encouraged you to plan a trip out West and you find yourself near Yellowstone National Park, make sure to plan a visit to the town of  West Yellowstone.  No trip out West is complete until you do!

You just never know what you’ll find there…